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September 29 九月的痕迹九月到头的时候,牛津开始变冷,烟雨朦胧,微风也已带彻骨之寒,4点多下课的时候,抬头见不到一点阳光. 九月到头的时候,快行于课室,图书馆与教导处之间,仿佛这样就可以握住未来的尾巴. 九月到头的时候,习惯了满脸沧桑地与旧同学聊天,而看着新同学微笑不语. 九月到头的时候,我枯涩的双眼里蔓生了它猖狂抽条的痕迹. 其实也没有那么折磨人啦,只是经过了一天的玩笑,忙碌,游荡,伏案疾书,我回头却找不到一丝感情的存在. IB2,开始不时地画淡妆,先是画得一块块特明显,后来越来越裸妆,有进步. 本来最喜欢粉粉的眼影,传说中可以让女生变得可爱无比的妆容,在我脸上却有少少的妖气,无奈. 最配的,大概还是深蓝灰色的眼影吧,深陷的眼眶,不去刻意掩饰黑眼圈,连忧伤都那么雅致. 中秋节晚会,有去表演噢,在其他女生都演非常女性化的东西的时候,我在努力模仿阳刚之气,结果阳刚之气沦为芭蕾的感觉,我只能咬呀切齿.给新生留的感觉大概就是一个"秉承中国传统文化"的奇怪女生吧,我还是想去跳舞呢... 学习方面,没什么大问题,PREDICTED GRADE出来了.作业虽然有时只能拿6,但我也听天由命了.ECON,在新的班里我已经慢慢忘却了MARK的魅力,安于听着人家无聊的讨论和用文字来表达经济原理.经济的原地踏步导致我越来越喜欢写TOK论文了. 还有我在一秒钟内决定以一个ENGLISH BS学生的身份,FINAL ORAL做T.S. ELIOT的一首诗,我太喜欢他了,诗风与我的有异曲同工之妙(我还是滚去一边好了). 生活方面,态度忽冷忽热,不过不变的规律就是在吃了好吃的东西之后一定会对生活充满了无比的憧憬和信心.只是这年头吃到好东西的机会特别少. SAT,下星期呢,怎么办,我真的不知道该怎么办. HALF TERM可以自助游去瑞士呢,太开心了,可是一想到之前挡着一座大山SAT我就觉得我如果SAT考不好,去到我最想去的格陵兰也不会开心起来.唉... 九月在我身下留下的痕迹,大概就是岁月吧.我看得到我一点点在长大,虽然很缓慢,但是我一直在努力. 明年的九月尽头,我又会在哪里呢?旁边有谁呢? September 17 hmm...dunno how to write the titleWhen the leaf lingers on the twig
Apples and blackberries are still waiting for a glimpse
of an autumn sun
to ripe
and to be picked
is it too late?
Not too late to sit
in the sun
with broken camera and trembling hands
At least I notice the juvenile fruits
grinning in their eternal reverie
We all know
the serenity
of ephemerae September 04 Here I am once againRight, although I really didn't want to put any thoughts onto this long-abandoned space, I decided to renew it, vaguely as a sign of me back in England.
It's amazing how scents can bring up tides of memory, when I rushed back from Gatwick airport to my house, when I entered the A block of the main building, when I walked on the streets. Even before my vision and hearing remind me, on the surface of conciousness, of these mixed old days, I fell into the swirling aromas and at one flash, thought I were still that optimistic girl running around for Orientation last year, too bellicose to be pulled down by any ordeals. Yet I accepted the identity of an IB2 long before the beginning of August, as I struggled through the planning of those homework but finally gave up writting anything onto the paper.
This september is going to be painful, extremely painful. I cannot imagine how I will manage EE, internal assessments, oral presentations, experiments, applications and so on. Mentally I'm still basking in the paradise of foods back in Guangzhou. Physically here I am, trying to catch up but scarcly doing anything important. Just keep asking:"how can I survive?"
I'm not a fighter anymore, not the one whose image is widely acknowledged. I'm a dreamwalker.
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